Select a page

Emergency Foods When You’re on an Autoimmune Healing Diet

So, my friend wrote me this email:

Ok you come home at 2am starving and you didn’t eat enough for dinner, you look in the fridge and see your raw carrots and chard and frozen bones and then you see your roomates’ chocolate, granola, peanut butter, cheese etc… I’m trying to think of emergency foods that have a certain yumminess… So far:

Hard boiled eggs
White rice (I’m eating this now)
Nuts (in moderation)
Frozen banana
Coconut jello (if I didn’t finish it already)

And I was like:

On the rare occasion when this happens to me, I am so fucking hungry, I
fantasize all the way home about what I will eat, so by the time I get there,
I’m on a mission to have pork and peas in my face and there could be
chocolate mousse cake in the fridge, it wouldn’t matter.

For emergencies, we always always always always no exceptions have
ground meat in fridge, frozen peas, and commercially shredded carrots
(they bathe them in chlorine to slow rotting, so not an everyday
choice). These take exactly 5 minutes to heat up and add a Tbsp of

If I’m feeling resentful about other people’s convenience foods, a
combination of “downward social comparison” (as my sister likes to
call it, and she’s in psych so I think it’s a technical term?) and
-Downward social comparison: 70% of Americans are on at least 1
prescription medication. I think my roommates are fine, or at east
they don’t seem to have major health problems, but based on what I
know, it’s possible they’re fucking up their grandkids’ DNA, and I
don’t want to take that risk. These things aren’t so much about
putting others down as making myself feel proactive and in control,
thus relinquishing my victim mentality.
-Logic: I remind myself that 1/4lb commodity pork and 1 cup broccoli
with sugar and veg oil takeout takes 20mins and $15 and 1/2lb the
world’s best pork and 10 oz peas w grassed butter takes 7 mins (gotta
wash the pan) and $4.25.

But again, if this is an “I’m jonesing” question more than an “I’m
hungry” question, my answer is much more complicated. It depends on
what you’re not getting enough of and what you crave when stressed,
and whether your mind (everyone’s is different!) will accept
substitutes. If you’re craving comfort and therefore peanut butter,
and almond butter does not mean comfort to *your* brain, you can eat
half a jar of almond butter and get nowhere.

So, if it’s a Jonesing question, unfortunately we have to recognize
that we need not only food at the ready, but mental and emotional
techniques to recognize what we really want. And that’s time consuming
and frustrating and not best done when hungry, staring into the
fridge, at 2am.

If your question is, “I want emergency foods that take minimal prep
that will always be there for me because they have long shelf/fridge
life,” and your brain will accept replacement foods without developing
an unhealthy relationship with them (for instance: I used to eat 20
dates in a sitting. They were what Dallas and Melissa Hartwig call
“food with no brakes” for me. This took me 2 years of attention before
dates and I could hang out again without me getting all codependent),
then sure, here’s a list of foods:

Then again, if you had any of these foods in the house, they are just
as easy to bring with you in the morning as they are to eat at 2am,
so…in that case I’m not really answering your question?

If you crave sugar:

Almond butter
Macadamia nuts!!!
Pine nuts
Leftover meat
Coconut chips

Seaweed chips
Salted macadamias

Homemade nut-only granola with cinnamon and nutmeg takes an hour and a
half to make, 30 mins of that is active, and it lasts a month in an
airtight container, longer in freezer.

Sugar, Salt & Fat:
-Coconut hot cocoa: in the blender, 1 cup boiling water, dissolve
gelatin or collagen hydrolysate. Cocoa, honey, pinch sea salt, Natural
Value coconut milk to taste (get it on internet, I buy the 12-can case
to save $)
-Nut granola, drizzle of honey, coconut mik
-I have been known to make a half pound burger with salt, put a Tbsp
honey on top, and a pickle on the side

Does that help?

Now that I think I may have answered your question, I think it’s
important to bring up self care. Not in a scolding way, but in a
mindful way. I don’t need answers to these, but I think it’s useful to
ask yourself: is 2am a time you like to get home? Are these emergency
circumstances, or does this happen more often than you’d like to
admit? Are you taxing your body to get an adrenaline rush and pump out
more work? That’s like borrowing on a high interest credit card (Seth
Godin, who is not [at least publicly] ill, says it’s time to go home
when you start making mistakes, so this is not just a conversation for
people managing a health issue).

And a quick nutritional note: if you’re not getting enough carbs (at
least 75-150g/day if you’re moderately active or stressed), your
adrenals ARE taxed and self care becomes much more important. So
please take care of your brain and hormones and eat enough carbs. Fast
emergency carbs for me are: canned pumpkin/squash, frozen squash, frozen
peas, shredded carrots, zucchini (takes 4min to cook; fester to cook
than shredded carrots but takes 2 mins slicing). I have to consciously
keep my carbs up. It’s not automatic if your food choices are limited by a protocol like the one I’m on.

And my friend was like,

You gotta blog that

And I was like

But lemme edit it and make it perfect first

And she was like



Fuck perfection,